Your Nervous System Is Running the Show (And Doesn’t Care About Your Goals)

lorenabuzatu
Jun 10
3 min read

Updated: Jun 22

You’re not overreacting. Your body is.

You know that moment when a text tone makes your stomach drop, or your boss’s feedback shuts you down mid-sentence? That isn’t mindset. That’s a biological alert going off in your system before your brain can even form a full thought.

It’s not drama. It’s the autonomic nervous system doing its job. Just on outdated software.

Ecran de laptop cu un model 3D al creierului, simbolizând reglarea sistemului nervos și Metoda Me vs. Me pentru vindecare emoțională și reprogramare comportamentală. — Sistemul tău nervos nu reacționează la întâmplare. Urmează un scenariu de supraviețuire scris cu ani în urmă. Să-l înțelegi e primul pas spre a-l rescrie.

Nervous System 101: It’s Not Just Fight or Flight

You’ve probably heard of “fight or flight”. Maybe even “freeze” or “fawn”. But what’s actually happening is this: your brainstem is scanning every situation for danger 24/7. And it’s not checking for logic. It’s checking for pattern recognition.

Meaning, it’s not just what’s happening now. It’s what feels like what happened then.

If you grew up in chaos, unpredictability, or emotional suppression, your body learnt to stay alert. That hypervigilance? Still running. Even when your adult life looks nothing like your childhood.

Your boss isn’t your parent. But your body doesn’t know that.

Polyvagal Theory Made Simple

Developed by neuroscientist Dr Stephen Porges, Polyvagal Theory explains how your nervous system has three settings:

Vagal ventral – Calm, connected, creative. Feels like flow.
Sympathetic – Activated. Urgent. Anxious. Feels like fight or flight.
Dorsal Vagal – închis, amorțit, retras. Se simte ca „ce rost mai are”.

If you find yourself constantly “managing your energy”, overthinking every message, or going numb during conflict, chances are your system is stuck in one of the bottom two.

Here’s the Hard Truth: You Can’t Out-Journal Dysregulation

No amount of mindset work, vision boarding, or morning routines can override a dysregulated system. If your body doesn't feel safe, your brain can’t focus, your voice won’t land, and your plans won’t stick.

This is why you start strong and then self-sabotage.

Why do you freeze when you meant to set a boundary?

Why rest feels impossible even when you’re exhausted.

You’re not lazy or broken. You’re looped.

What Real Nervous System Work Looks Like

It’s not about “calming down”. It’s about building capacity. Training your system to move through stress without getting hijacked.

What actually works?

Co-regulation with a safe, attuned person

Somatic tracking and interoception (brain’s ability to sense internal signals from your body)

Vagal toning techniques like humming, breathwork, cold exposure

Hypnotherapy and neural rehearsal to shift implicit memory

It’s not just about tools.

It’s about repatterning your baseline so your body stops reacting like you’re still in survival.

This Is Why Me vs. Me Starts With SOFTEN

In the Spiral Method, SOFTEN isn’t just about slowing down. It’s about retraining your nervous system to trust again. To feel, express, and recover without getting stuck in unconscious loops.

Because your future self isn’t built in your head. She’s built into your body.

And if you want to stop looping through the same patterns, you need to start where they live: in your physiology.

You don’t need to be more disciplined. You need to feel safe enough to show up.

Notice yourself in one of these patterns?

Screenshot the section and name the loop you’re in.
Tag @mevsme.method.
If this hit a nerve, good. That means your body’s ready to shift.
What part of your system feels outdated?
Comment below.